Jack had been on a very boozy night out with his golf buddies.
When he left the bar he was absolutely steaming drunk.
Unwisely, despite being in a state of inebriation, Jack decided he’d drive home in his own car, rather than getting a cab. Well, he’d been driving for so many years, he was confident he could get the car home safely despite his condition.
So he proceeded along Main Street, driving as carefully as he could.
Suddenly he had to swerve to avoid a tree. Then he had to swerve again to avoid another tree and then another.
Well now, watching proceedings is a Highway Patrolman who decides it’s time to intervene and Jack’s pulled over.
“Sir,” said the Highway Patrolman, “can you explain why you were driving erratically along Main Street.”
“I’m sorry officer,” Jack responded, slurring his words. “It was the trees in the middle of the road.”
The Highway Patrolman frowned and said, “Sir, I have reason to believe you’re inebriated.”
“Why?” asked Jack, his speech slurred once again.
“Because there are no trees,” the Highway Patrolman responded. “You were dodging your air freshener.”