On a Northwest Airlines flight to Boston during a hurricane, the captain did his best to skirt the edge of the storm, but it was a pretty rough ride just the same – rough enough that the flight attendants were ordered to strap themselves into their seats for about half an hour, and many of the passengers were putting the little plastic-lined bags in their seat pockets to good use. When the turbulence finally abated, the flight attendants unbuckled themselves, and the captain’s voice came on over the intercom.
“Well, folks, that was quite some ride, wasn’t it? But we came through it fine, just the way we always do and I’m happy to report that it looks like the remainder of our trip should be much calmer. On behalf of myself and today’s flight crew, I’d like to thank you very much for your calmness and cooperation, and extend our best wishes for a pleasant stay in Boston. After a short pause and several clicks… “Jesus Christ – whadda bitchin’ ride! Boy – I sure could use a cup of good strong coffee and a blow job, right about now”
As a stricken stewardess dashed up the aisle to the cabin to inform the captain that his intercom was still on, one of the passengers called after her, “Don’t forget the coffee!”